As I'm spiraling away, I always get to thinking....... now that can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the day. Lesson one, whatever fabric we cut, can be sewn back together. After all, we are doing patchwork, what's an extra seam, here or there?? And if we are doing improv, heck, we can be fearless.
I'm really am fearless....when it comes to my fabric (most of the time), but not so much in real life. My family will attest....I'm rather a ninny (their word). I don't like speed or risk....the minute I became a mother, at the age of twenty one, self preservation became of utmost priority!! I had to stay safe for my child, now I digress.
When I pull out my fabric, I can slice it, dice it, and slice it again....and if I still don't like it I can throw it in the corner until tomorrow.
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Lesson two, let it simmer.
I have no idea where this is going....but that's alright. I can put it on my design wall and let it simmer, move it all around and let it simmer some more. I don't have to have all the answers, I can take the time to process.
In real life, I don't always let things process or simmer enough. I'm the "Let's get it all out on the table" type and of course, it goes without saying...... I'm married to the "Let things unfold as they unfold" type. Yikes...do opposites always attract???
So where am I going with all this?? Simply this... words spoken cannot so easily be taken back and feelings hurt cannot simply be sewn back together. Also, taking time to process and letting things simmer or to quote my husband "Letting things unfold as they unfold" often avoids those hurts in the first place.
As I was reading the different blog posts, regarding the judges comments on peoples' work, I was saddened to hear how devastated some of you were. One commenter stood out to me, as they mentioned some of the blog posts criticizing the judging at Quilt Con. As you know, I wrote about my own feelings, on that topic. Some of the criticisms of the judging and possibly (very likely) my own critique, diminished some of the pleasure in their winning. It did not occur to me that perhaps my own words would shake the confidence of another quilter.....it should have.
I am so sorry, if anyone reading my words felt "less deserving" as a result. If I would have waited longer and processed more I might have avoided hurting some of you. Please forgive me if I caused you to question or if I diminished your wonderful moment in any way.
Marianne
Marianne
Having read past comments regarding quilt shows etc I can see that judges can be so cruel at times.
ReplyDeleteIf like me, you quilt for the pleasure of creating something you love and you enjoy the journey of discovery and development as it grows into either something you envisioned or morphs into something beyond your expectations.
The last think I'd want is someone picking metaphorical holes in my 'baby'. In some ways you were probably spared some hurtful remark but I still think that your quilt should have been on 'show' for all to appreciate and be inspired by.
First of all - I do like to let my things simmer on my wall a bit and wish my time management skills would let me do it more often. I love where the abstract pieces are going!
ReplyDeleteStill I think its very classy of you to post publically when you think you've "missed the mark" concerning your own comments on Quilt Con and apologize. Can anybody really ask for more of you? None of us are perfect and we've all said things we wish we could have taken back ---- or realized the impact of our words before we spoke them!
Sometimes I let things simmer and they end up boiling over in ways that are not good. But for some reactions, like the emotional response to uncaring comments or to being excluded from a community, are very real and meant to be acknowledged. We can have a range of reactions in this quilting world but we shouldn't feel in competition with each other. Life is too short for sewing to wear us down too.
ReplyDeleteI am forever in awe of your spirals!
It can be a tricky line to walk - wanting to be honest with your readers, but not offend anyone. I hope most blog readers get to know the person writing the blog a bit and understand where they are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have anything to apologize for though it's perhaps nice that you're willing to do so. When one enters a quilt to be 'judged' you are inviting comment, literally, from judges and from viewers. Isn't some of that going to be negative, by definition? An artist has to be prepared for that. We can't, don't and shouldn't all like the same things. People see different things when they look at the same thing. It's a good thing. My mother told me more than once, even someone that you think is 'ugly' will look beautiful to at least one other person. Isn't that a comforting thing? I think so and I also think it's true. The most important thing is that you like your own work and that it's the best that you can make it. Pieces of art really are like children: you raise them as carefully as you can and then they go out into the world to make their way. It will hurt when they're not appreciated the way you appreciate them, but you and they should be secure in the knowledge that at least one person loves them unconditionally. That's necessary and sufficient.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't think you have anything to apologize for. Your post about the quilt show reflected your experience and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI read plenty of reviews about that show, and they ranged from scathing to exuberant. You took time to process and reflect about the show, then shared with us. It was a balanced review.
I'd like to see you enter your quilts for consideration in art gallery sponsored shows - like Schweinfurth's Quilts=Art=Quilts. What you create is ART.
I can not express how much I appreciate you sharing your techniques, progress, and the final piece with the blogging world. I'm a Quilting Edge groupie - big time. LOL Hugs
I have groupies??? Just kidding. Thanks for your kind words.
DeleteIt's generous of you to apologize, Marianne, but I really don't think you need to do that. You can't be responsible for someone else's feelings. We can all only be responsible for our own. I've worked hard to get to that point in my life, and I have much more peace of mind because of it. Your comments were heartfelt and sincere. That's what matters! Someone else's reaction isn't really your concern. If that sounds heartless, believe me, it's not (it's full of heart, actually).
ReplyDeleteyou are such a class act. I don't know if you need to apologize, but it's what a class act does- it's how you felt at the time, it's something that was simmering and you needed to get it out there. I think it probably helped a bunch of others too.
ReplyDeleteNo apology is necessary. Someone is "guilt tripping" you and now they need to apologize to you for that. This apologizing could go on forever. You were just expressing your disappointment, and in a sensitive way, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteYour quilts are beautiful(see my comment in your previous post).
I know that I didn't have to apologize....I just didn't want to take away from anyone's success. I hadn't really thought about that.
DeleteI had not been privy to all of the controversy about judging (though your post has piqued some interest and raised some very issues I've had floating around in my mind for a while now) for QuiltCon and other shows, but found your insights truly thought provoking. And right on the mark from my outsider perspective. Thank you for sharing with such an open mind and open heart. It's beyond refreshing (and most inspiring - as is your work!) Here's to "getting to thinking" while working at the sewing machine!
ReplyDeleteWhat excellent metaphors you have created between marriage, quilting and quilt shows. As someone who has had her feelings hurt in the past, I must now say that there is room for everyone who has an opinion. Free speech is a gift and we should all be mature enough to accept the opinions of others, even if they differ from our own. It may take some of us longer to get to that point in our lives, and in this brave new world of instant communications, the sooner we get to that point of live and let live, the better. Again, I say this from YEARS of experience.
ReplyDeleteI respect your thoughts and reflections on QuiltCon. I have had many similar thoughts as I walk through quilt shows and wonder why in the world this "that" quilt win a ribbon. But then, I am not the judge. Nor would I EVER accept that responsibility.
I respect your putting an apology out there, as you are indeed a class act. Perhaps we all should stop, look, and listen before crossing any line, but don't let's condemn a person because that person has an opinion. Let us all have fun doing what we love to do.
I don't think you needed to apologize. You didn't criticize any specific quilts. You only put out your own feelings out there. If anyone felt targeted by your comments, that is their own insecurities(which we all have). I for one appreciated that you were honest with yourself, and your readers how you were feeling. You don't know how many times I edit myself on my blog as to not offend anyone when I'd rather just be me. It's brave of you, really;)
ReplyDeleteHola Marianne, me gustan tus trabajos y la forma de acolcharlos es increible. ¿Cómo haces estas espirales tan grandes? Si te pasa por mi blog serás bienvenida.
ReplyDeletefetxmi.blogspot.com Gracias